So its Genius Hour Day #2. How do I top the EPIC CLASS last week?
How about with an EPIC video?
Then one of my favorite people on the planet (and fellow debate coach) posted a link of a video of her boyfriend (if you can't watch the video you can view it here).
This young man is kind of a celebrity now. He went to the high school I work at, and really, since I have worked there, has always been referenced with a subtle tone of awe and wonder by those that knew him. It's no wonder, given this speech:
My students have seen this speech multiple times, either on Social Media, or on our school announcements. Our whole campus is abuzz about it.
I showed it at the beginning of Genius Hour today.
(Kids were still clapping after the speech. It is THAT epic.)
There are two things that I really want students to be thinking about during Genius Hour today, as we start to brainstorm topics. First, this video was posted on Sunday. As of when I am writing this, this particular version of the speech has reached 1,945,214 views. There are other versions posted have a total of 264,115 combined views. In 5 days. The speaker has been featured in print in Rolling Stone, Inside Ed, Daily Mail, CNN, Fox, CBS, MSNBC, Yahoo news, College Humor, SB Nation, Buzzfeed, Gawker, Mashable, Huffington Post, Daily Digest, Daily Caller, Boston Globe, Ahwatukee Foothills, Local Atlanta papers, and now, this blog. It's also been turned into a number of super hilarious Internet memes (Including one for Subway!) floating around Facebook. So, the first lesson of the day was don't ever doubt that your message, if you are passionate enough, can be heard. Never doubt that you will change the world.
The second message was in reference to the content of his speech. The theme for today was "You can do that!" in his honor. I asked the students to think about something that they are passionate about, and how we could connect Latin, or Roman history to it. Or, if they chose, they could start with a problem, and use what they will learn about Rome to help solve that problem. I was there to guide and suggest, and I want to share some of the project ideas that I remember from today. Because they are epic in their own right.
1. Discussion of Oral Tradition in the Ancient World - what makes stories worth remembering?
Product is a digital storytelling platform to bring the lost art into the 21st Century.
2. Blog where a student will grow his own food (passion about plants) and "eat like a Roman plebian" for a month and reflect, then "eat like a Roman patrician" and reflect.
3. A number of students are choreographing dances inspired by historical events in ancient Rome, and we are having a dance show.
4. Another pair of students are tackling the problem of starvation and nutrition by adapting Roman recipes and attempting to feed a family of 4 (with adequate nutrition and no processed ingredients) for $50 a week.
5. Another pair of students are looking at Roman clothing and modernizing it, creating their own fashion line inspired by clothing worn by Roman women and men.
6. A student is very interested in yoga and veganism - she is studying yoga and creating her own yoga poses inspired by events in Roman history, and hosting a "wellness day" for the community, including a cooking demonstration where she will adapt a Roman recipe to be vegan and teach a class on how to make it.
7. Another student is creating abstract paintings of different Latin phrases, and making a gallery exhibit.
8. Create an Instagram account from the point of view of various important Romans from history.
I'm still in awe of my students' work today.
Thank you, Nick, for telling us we "can do that!" Indeed, we "[are] doing that."
I decided I wanted to have a Genius Hour project too. My Genius Hour project is to follow my passions, both in and out of the classroom. To follow are my reflections and musings of life inside and outside of the classroom.
It's Sunday night, and I am sitting down to plan for next week... and I have this crazy idea. I've mentioned it before, but the more and more I think about it, as I become more inspired by the observations I have had of my students' learning under the TRPS model, I wonder if TPRS can be used as a way to present and help students master structures so they can begin to read authentic Latin from the first year?
The purpose of Latin, unlike many other languages, is not really to go to a country and speak the language (although, the ATM in the Vatican does have a Latin option...). The purpose is to be able to read the wisdom of the Romans, appreciate it, and apply those lessons to our world today, because they are still relevant.
One of the main problems I have discovered is, however, we do not teach students to READ Latin, we teach them to decode Latin. And most of the time, the decoding comes at the expense of finding real meaning in a text. Also, translation then becomes a slow and painful process. And not all of them understand quite how to do it. It's just unpleasant.
We finished building our first story last week, about zombies, and some other stuff. But mostly zombies. It went well. Like, really, awesomely, well. The kids learned about commands, Indirect Objects, Inflection, all these really cool things... AND I DIDNT WRITE DOWN ONE CHART. Epic. Win.
So this week, I took a look at my end game. The paragraph that I am building to:
[1] Romanum imperium a Romulo exordium habet, qui Reae Silviae, Vestalis
virginis, filius et, quantum putatus est, Martis cum Remo fratre uno partu
editus est. Is eum inter pastores latrocinaretur, decem et octo annos natus
urbem exiguam in Palatino monte constituit XI Kal. Maias, Olympiadis sextae
anno tertio, post Troiae excidium, ut qui plurimum minimumque tradunt, anno
trecentesimo nonagesimo quarto.
Yes indeed. This is Eutropius. And its unadapted, except that I took out the one clause that will never make sense to a first year Latin student.
So then I sat, and pondered. Where to begin?
The first thing I did was identify basic grammatical structures that they would NOT have to know. This seems odd, but I wanted to narrow down the things that I would want them to know right away, vs the things that I could give them:
Dates
Perfect Passive
Passive
natus + Acc extent
uno partu
Now for the things I want them to KNOW KNOW:
S+V+DO+PP
sometimes you have to add a prep
Genitive
Family words
Looking at it this way is much more manageable. Less OMG-how-do-I-do-this-without-trying-to-find-the-verb-and-stuff, and more hey-all-I-have-to-do-is-work-on-structures-like-this-with-family-words-and-that's-easy.
WE CAN DO THIS! LIKE, FOR REAL! It's a little more strategic, to be sure, but it can work.
So, we're going to build a couple of stories around these concepts. I'll post my initial questions and the stories, and some examples of how I've circled through the statements at the end of the week, along with a wrap up.
After the EPIC day of introducing Genius Hour to my kids, I posted this response to both my personal Facebook page, and to our school "Compliments" page. (yes, I know, I must be crazy for being friends with my kids on Facebook. But my Facebook is for work, primarily, and I only post for work - and that includes personal posts of my hobbies/passions so that kids see what people can learn.)
To all of my current Latin students,
Today was the best day I have had at school in 10 years. I've loved all of my students from year 0 to year 10, but today was the most inspiring, and the most amazing. Words cannot even begin to describe the amazingness that was today. Seeing your excitement over Genius Hour, talking with some of you about your ideas, and even some fears over the project, has been amazing. I cannot wait to take this journey with you.
This year in general has been indescribably amazing. I love coming to work everyday because of you, and your amazingness. I am made a better teacher by you - not only from being in the classroom and watching you grow, but by wanting to be the best teacher in the world because that is what each and every one of you deserve.
I cannot wait to see you all again on Monday! Have a great weekend!
Geese
And it started this conversation:
STU: Magistra, I think I speak for myself and all of your other student when I say your class period today was the best one we have ever had. You have helped us open our minds and expand our horizons. I only wish that every student had the opportunity to have a teacher as amazing as you: Who knows what the world could look like. Me: I did very little, other than talk a lot. However, the world could look like a lot of things... but I believe in you so much, I want to ask, what will the world look like at the end of this year??? STU: It will look like a world with lots of 15 16 and 17 year old handprints and impacts, which is only the start:) oh! And lots of student who have a different view on education who believe in themselves and in what they can do for this world
I am totally NOT trying to toot my own horn here... it isn't about me. It's about a student who was inspired, who wants to make a difference, and now feels like she can.
If I didn't totally believe in the power of this activity before, I think that response alone would have convinced me.
I had the best day I have EVER had in 10 years teaching on Friday. The BEST.
But seriously, I feel like I normally do after a really, really good workout. It's like runner high, but after teaching. So, a teacher's high, I guess.
I got to introduce Genius Hour to my students. I've done projects like this before, to varying degrees, but never as a year-long, ongoing process. I was excited. The kids were sort of intrigued by the concept, as I had mentioned it when we had "syllabus day" last week.
I'm posting the pep talk I gave here for a couple of reasons. One, I just love the videos. And two, when either the students or I need to refocus and remember why we are doing Genius Hour, it will be right here, on the Internet. Cause that's where things go.
This is not word for word, but it's close enough. And I edited a little, so it made sense in print. Sorry, it's a little long...
____
I want to show you a video. Its about what makes it tick. It's built for the business world, but it holds true for a lot of education as well. Just pretend when they say "incentive" they are talking about grades, not money.
Wow, right?
So, Daniel Pink talks about 3 things that motivate us: 1) autonomy 2) mastery and 3) purpose.
Do students get a lot of autonomy in schools? (Class says no). Not really. You sign up for your own classes, but for the most part you are told what to learn and how by your teachers, right? Don't blame them, in fact, it's no one's fault really. It's just the way it has always been done. BUT, its not the way it has to be done. And although we are going to learn Latin in here, and math in your math classes, I want you to realize that in the end, YOU are responsible for your own education. And I want to give you a chance to take charge of it.
Do you feel like you master skills in school? (class looked skeptical) Or, let me put it to you this way - how many of you study for a test, and then 5 minutes after taking said test, forget all of it? (everyone raises their hands and laughs, because we all know its true. Hey, I've done it myself, more than once) I dont think that is mastery. Do you? Thought not. Mastery is remembering something forever, or at least appreciating it. My job, as a teacher of Latin, is to teach you Latin (shocker) - essentially, to get you to appreciate the wisdom that the Romans left to us. And, to get you to see that said wisdom is still very much applicable. To do that, you need to be able to read Latin, and understand it, in the context it was written.
But I have another job. It is my job as a teacher of KIDS... I am one of the very lucky few who feels that I have a vocation (which, ironically, comes from the Latin vocare, to call) - I was called to be a teacher. Ten years later, my conviction in that statement has never waned. It has taken me through the very tough times, and has only been strengthened in the good times. I am made better every day by my students. And I am the luckiest person in the world because of you. This is not a job - it is a pleasure to be here, with you all. My task, then, is to inspire you to find the same passion that I have. I want you to find something that brings you as much joy as teaching brings me. That's one reason you all go to school - to explore, and find things that you are passionate about. Figure out what drives you. Give you a sense of purpose. If you look at school as less of an endless list of things to get done, but more as an opportunity to explore and find yourself, then school really does have a purpose.
Speaking of opportunities, I want you to watch this video. It's a video of this guy, Ashton Kutcher. You may have heard of him. He has some pretty important things to say. Things that we need to hear:
First and foremost, he is NOT old. Cause he's around my age. And I'm not old. Cause I say "cause." So there.
"Chris" does say some pretty profound things here. First about opportunities. Everything in life is an opportunity. Hard work pays off. One year ago I was standing here, my first year here at a new school, after having left everything and everyone I had ever known. Yes, I knew I wanted to be a Latin teacher at 15. I also knew where I wanted to go to college, what my major(s) would be, that I would have an apartment with a balcony (don't ask), and that I would drive a blue car. And teach in my hometown. And I did all of that by the time I was 24. And ALL of it was way inside my comfort zone. I realized at 29 that I hadn't really lived at all. I had a phenomenal and wonderful life, but it wasn't really the life that I had always dreamed about. Because it was an easy life. I hadn't struggled enough. For all of my desire to take "the road less traveled," like Kid President urges, I had taken the most congested highway I could find. And so, I accepted a job 2,000 miles away from my comfort zone, where I knew no one. It was the road NOT traveled before. And I struggled. But now that it's a new year, I can look back and say I am stronger because of the opportunity that I had to struggle. I dared to take that new opportunity when it came my way: an opportunity to understand myself better. And, equally, an inspiration to always strive to be better, because I owe it to you all to be my best. You all are that important, both to me and to the world.
Let me give you another example. I'm not an athlete. Sorry - I'm just not coordinated enough. When I was growing up, my brother and my mother both were black belts in karate, my father was almost a professional golfer, and my sister was offered a massive scholarship to play soccer in college. And then there was me. I was the debate kid, and I sang. There was no physical coordination required in either of those activities. So about 5 or so years ago, when I was in massively better shape than I am today, and bored, I signed up for a Krav Maga class. Apparently, because everyone in Israel has to learn it, it's really user friendly. Riiight. I showed up, and made a total fool of myself. I punched like a girl. And a girly-girl at that. Don't get me started on the times I had to punch and THEN kick. Then, it was my partner's turn to punch (he was a 45-year old man, and in better shape that I was). He beat the tar out of me - literally, I struggled to get out of the car when I got to my parents' house afterwards. But you know what was weird? I LOVED every minute of it. I was awful at it, but I had the time of my life.
Lesson? Yes, I am an easy target. Probably should avoid physical altercations.
Real lesson? Every experience is an opportunity to grow. Even when it is hard. Especially when it is hard. Nothing is beneath you, because you can learn from EVERYTHING. And, you learn more when you struggle. It is okay to fall flat on your face, as long as you pick yourself up and keep going. Sometimes, its better to have an epic fail. When you have freedom, like you will in Genius Hour, you might fail (not grade-wise, but idea-wise). It might not work at first. You might have to stuggle. Step outside of your comfort zone. But, you will learn more from that failure and that struggle than all of the homework I can throw at you this year, if you take advantage of the opportunity you have in this activity.
The second part is also very true. Smart is the new "sexy." (giggles ensue) It is the age of the Geek. Which is cool, cause apparently I am cool now. I'll take that. But no one thinks you are smart if you can rattle off a bunch of equations. Or give a bunch of dates in history. Why? Because we all can read the Internet, same as you. You are truly smart only if you see that everything you are learning is a piece of the larger puzzle that is life. Intelligence is not what you can memorize, but what you can create using the things you learn. What you can create to make the world a better place. Teachers get into education because we are passionate about the subjects we teach. But, we stay in education because we want to see a better tomorrow. We don't want to program robots with facts. This is not science fiction... and that's not how you make a better world. I've seen Battlestar Gallactica. I know these things. We want to guide you kids and facilitate true thinking and learning.
And third, Kutcher talks about what he learned from playing Steve Jobs (other than the fact that he might be the ONLY person I have seen to successfully pull off that era in fashion. Nicely done.). Remember when he said "the world is the way it is because people make it that way. And those people are no smarter than you." Look, my generation, we failed in a lot of ways. We forgot that we can shape our own world. Well, many of us forgot. All the hope is on you guys now. The status quo (Latin alert!), the way things are, is only that because no one has bothered to change it yet. This is why school is so important. In school, you are exposed to all those puzzle pieces that make up life in the status quo. Armed with that knowledge, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WAY THINGS ARE. You see a problem? You can help be part of the solution. That's one of the things we'll be discussing as you formulate your Genius Hour projects. Want to make the world a better place? Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't. Because you can. And even if it doesn't happen today, or tomorrow, or through your Genius Hour project, who is to say it wont happen at all? If you don't try, then nothing will ever change. Always shoot for the moon. It's a famous quote - - if you miss, you will end up amongst the stars. And who knows where the stars will take you... one of you might be the next James T Kirk.
This is a lot of information to think about on a Friday. I wanted to end by showing you the power of following your passions, and taking opportunities to learn, and changing the status quo. This is a boy who is your age, who lives in Sierra Leone. He probably didn't have the same educational opportunities that you have. But because he worked hard, believed in something, and dared to color outside of the lines, here is what he was able to accomplish:
This is a journey that we are going to take together this year. It may be for some of you, "the road less traveled." But, I hope and believe fervently that it could make all the difference to you, and to the world.
So, I want you to write for the remaining 2-3 minutes of class. Make a list. What are you passionate about? Interested in? It doesn't have to be Latin related. Just start writing. Don't over-think it. If you think of something throughout the week, add it to the list.
Right now, this is a reflective time for you. There will be time to discuss later. Start writing!
_____
It was the kids reactions to this that made it the best day ever. To see them excited about something, truly excited and already brainstorming... that made all of the difference to me.
A pretty awesome Spanish teacher and I have been talking this year about teaching, and he reintroduced me to TPRS (if you need a short introduction its here).
Quite frankly, I had heard about TPRS before - even attended a conference. It was fantastic, and I learned a lot, but I struggled with that most ancient struggle...
... but wait, I teach Latin. And that's not how we roll.
I do teach Latin, and for years, that wasn't how we rolled. We read stories about Cornelia and Flavia sitting underneath the tree (and some of us made up hilarious and shockingly violent stories about the tree coming to life and exacting its revenge for having to deal with girls doing nothing but sitting under him for 50 some odd chapters...), we did grammar exercises, and try to come up with something wacky and crazy because otherwise violent images emerged in our heads concerning the fates of the rather banal and unimpressive (and sometimes, downright whiny) characters... well, you get the picture. 18 years later, it wasn't pretty.
So, rewind back to the part where I was talking to the Spanish teacher about TPRS. And then he showed me this and this blog. And I started to think - I wasn't sold yet, but I have heard such great things. So, I tried it. It was the 3rd day of school. Why not?
I had no idea what to expect. I had NO idea what I was doing.
But, about 5 minutes into it, I realized I was having fun. Like, serious, awesome fun. One hour later, I realized that I had screamed, bounced around, and joked my way through an entire hour without stopping, and using very little English.
You know runner's high? Yep, teachers get it too.
So, after introducing and circling (check out this site for instructions - it is almost permanently up on my Internet browser, and its AWESOME. I'm such a fan.) through some basic phrases and basic sentence structure (S+V+DO quote+IO), we put it together and started a story as a class. When the kids could, they answered in Latin, where they needed to, they answered in English.
Here's why I love my job the most. The story below was created by the kids. So, naturally, it's violent. But, because my kids are good people, no one dies. They just become a zombie (after bursting out of the stomachs of others after being eaten of course). And I get to pantomime this story, and talk about it for a week. And the kids are learning.
Zombies. Latin. #yolo
______
In fabula, estpuer. In fabula, quoqueestpuella. PueronomenestFrank. Puellaenomenest Susie. Puelladicit “Salve” puero. Puerrespondit “Salve. Quid agis?” Puellarespondet, “necbenenec male” puero.Puer et puellainveniuntleonem. Puellaagitleonem. Weee! Deindepueragitleonem. Puellacadit de leone ad terram. Unicornusvenit, et salvatpuellam. Eugapae! Omnesvolant ad terramunicornorum, et salutantreginamunicornorum. Omnessimulcontant et saltant. Omneseunt ad KFC. Ecce! Esttigrisvenit et cenatunicornum. Miser unicorum! DeindeBatvirvenit et tigremnecat. Tamen, tigris non estmortuus, est un-mortuus! Unicornussurgit e tigre un-mortuo. It ad kansas. Sed non vulthabitare in Kansas, et it ad Hawaii. Estfrigidus in Kansas! Navigat in nave ad Hawaii, et feriticebergem, et cadit in mare. Unicornus in mare habitat solus semper.
Translation: In the story, there is a boy. In the story, there is also a girl. The name of the boy is Frank. The name of the girl is Susie. The girl says "Hello," to the boy. The boy responds, "Hello! How are you?" The girl responds, "neither good nor bad," to the boy. The boy and the girl find a lion. The girl rides the lion. Weee! Then the boy rides the lion. The girl falls from the lion to the ground. A unicorn comes, and saves the girl. Hooray! Everybody flies to the land of the unicorns, and greets the queen of the unicorns. Everyone sings at the same time and dances. Everyone goes to KFC. Look! A tiger comes and eats the unicorn! Poor unicorn! Then Batman comes and kills the tiger. However, the tiger is not dead, he is undead! The unicorn rises from the undead tiger. He goes to Kansas. But he does not wish to live in Kansas, and he goes to Hawaii. It is cold in Kansas! He sails in his ship to Hawaii, and he hits an iceberg, and he falls into the sea. The unicorn always lives in the sea alone.
I spend a lot of time around people who don't teach Latin. I can't help it... there are not very many of us out there (and I am the only one in my district), so I am forced to associate with people who teach crazy things, like Spanish, and English, and History.
But I sure do learn a lot from them.
At the end of last year, I spent a lot of time thinking about putting my own stamp on the curriculum that I taught. I had finished my first year at a new school, and I was itching to make some changes - to apply what I had learned from teaching in Illinois, and what I had learned from the students last year. So, I decided to do something drastic. I decided to get rid of my textbooks.
Ball and chain gone. I'm free!
(and quite literally... I had been using the same textbook for 19 years, both as a teacher and as a student)
Um...
Um...
But wait. So how do I know what to teach?
I started to think about what my end goal was. After years of high school Latin, what will my students have to show for it?
I fell in love with Latin because, let's face it, its a perfect blend of art and technicality on paper. You read it like a language, but you can also analyze all of the different components and really understand writing on a much deeper level when you discuss things like word order, and case, and word choice. And, well, the Romans are pretty violent. Which makes it kind of interesting.
I want my students to have a similar experience with the language I have dedicated my entire life to teaching. But, increasingly, I have started to become frustrated with traditional textbook decoding methods - even those that I have designed myself. The kids still make the SAME mistakes, over and over again. After 3 years of Latin, no one knows what a predicate nominative is. They can't produce the language in any meaningful way, and, let's face it half of them get super frustrated because translating takes too long. And they cut corners and give up.
Besides, no one takes a language to learn to translate. It's like taking a computer class to learn to hunt and peck on a keyboard. You get the right answer eventually, but its neither efficient, productive, or fun. Hunting and pecking makes Latin into the horrid monster "dead language," the one that "...once killed the Romans, and now is killing me."
So, there's that problem.
Also, why do we wait until the 3rd or even 4th year of Latin to actually read Latin???
Also... why isn't this not required for Latin teachers to read?
All questions that were going through my mind all summer as I put together a set of readings. Nothing felt right... until I had a conversation with my friend. And then my life changed.
DETOUR. More about grading later. This video is awesome!
So to share a little bit of myself with my students at the beginning of the year, I showed a little from this montage of one of my most favorite 90s TGIF shows:
They say it explains a lot about me.
Yep, I'm weird. #sorrynotsorry
It's the weird part of me that is normally the wallflower when I am around adults - the stand-in-the-back-of-the-room-because-otherwise-people-might-know-I-exist type, or the prim-and-proper-ice-queen type.
It's like the pork chop vs. the ham hock. The pork chop is proper. Its boring. It sits with its applesauce and attempts to fade into the plate because no one knows how to cook it, and it doesn't know what to do on its own to be awesome. But a chef can spice it up and make it awesome. Or, if you prefer, make it "bring home the bacon."
Now, the ham hock on the other hand is exotic. It's not seen every day, only read about in obscure cookbooks, or discussed by Anthony Bourdain in a hushed, reverent tone. Extremely difficult to cook and work with, and has a flavor that is like nothing else. (or so I've been told)
Sometimes, I act like a pork chop. But, really, I am a ham (hock).
It's the ham hock part of me that was born to be a teacher. It's the ham (hock) in all teachers that draw them to standing in front of students for 8 hours a day, not the pork chop. Pork chops are made for sitting in offices. Ham hocks inspire the leaders of tomorrow.
So why do all teachers at one point or another retreat into pork chops?
Maybe it's all the testing, the data, the ratings - we have to achieve a certain end, and we forget to have fun on our way to that end. Or maybe its that we fear to be different, are afraid of our own uniqueness, uncomfortable with standing out too much, or at all?
It took me a long time to embrace and fly my "geek flag" proudly, but it was always easier for me in front of kids. I always figured that I didnt want them to be as afraid of being different as I was, so I was going to show them that being strange could be exotic, that it might be different than anything and everything they'd seen before, but the end result could be out-of-this-world awesome.
But, when you are stressed, there is no energy to be unique - when you are bogged down with a never ending to do list, all of your energy goes to surviving. When all of this first started last year, a friend (whose wisdom is at times profound, and is always worth listening to) said - face it, all the stuff you wanted to do, you can't. You have to go into survival mode now. I didn't want to believe him... but he was right. Surviving is not embracing individuality. Surviving is getting from point A to point B, and moving on to the next task.
I was a little afraid for this year, to be honest. Afraid I would not be able to get back all that enthusiasm for teaching that I had before. That it was lost forever underneath my pork chop exterior.
But then, I started researching a new teaching technique, and I started grasping the strands of my former creative self. I started to come alive again. And I started to be excited for teaching again (I have always loved and will always love teaching - but any teacher will tell you there are days when you dont like teaching). And as I get more and more excited, and as my students start to feel that enthusiasm, the excitement in the air, they are more able and comfortable taking risks. And you end up telling stories about zombie unicorns and Batman and Godzilla all eating each other. 'Cause you know, that's how Rome fell. Too many zombies.
I was all excited. When last I posted, I was being more reflective, and taking charge of a busy life. I was going to recover. I was no longer going to be a workaholic. I was going to have it all.
And then I realized, in order have it all - to have more balance, and to have all of these amazing life experiences that I had sought in moving 2000 miles away from my family, friends, and comfort zone, that I needed time. Of course, time was the one thing I didn't have...
(back story: due to some unforeseen circumstances, I had an insane amount of classes last year (7 classes, to be exact), on top of 3 part time jobs.)
When I realized that no amount of earthly goods would ever make up for the fact that I was so far beyond stressed out, had developed every awful character trait I despised in people because my stress level was so high I couldn't control my brain, and thus had realized that quite literally, my ability to function as a human being was severely compromised, I made a decision. I put my head down, and put blinders on, and prayed and gave every ounce of everything I had in me to finish the year. Not finish, but just to survive the year. To remain breathing and capable of reporting grades and driving too and from work. And matching my clothes. I wasn't asking for much. I certainly wasn't asking to reach any of my lofty goals of improving myself and conquering long-standing character deficiencies.
Well, I survived.
I almost didn't.
I know, I am an overachiever, I am a perfectionist, I am too hard on myself. It wasn't that bad, I just made it that bad. I'm a workaholic, after all. I've heard all of those things too many times before.
But see, it was that bad.
It wasn't the students - each and every single one of them were the reasons I continued to show up each day. They were my high points.
It wasn't my school - I have wonderful colleagues, who were continuously supportive of me.
I think every "addict" hits a point of rock bottom - you can only keep up the steam for so long, only go on autopilot for so many miles before you really have to look and see the big wall you are about to crash into. WE ALL CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH.
Last year was my rock bottom. This year is my climb back.
I have so many cool teaching things to share - changes I have made and new tricks and lessons and ideas! Wait, I know, but it's work related?!?! That's because before anything else, I have to repair my broken relationship with my job, before I can find that balance that I am looking for.
Next post: changes in grading... and numerous pig analogies.
